Sunday, July 31, 2005
12:01 PM

My last blog Here

Hey Peeps! It's my last blog here, I'd moved to http://learnings-of-mandism.blogspot.com
OK? Link me up there! :) CHeers!

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
2:32 PM

~Je vOus aimez~

I'm so French Crazy now! hahaha... Have a lil foundation, been brushing up abit by the aid of a french dictionary. Hehe...

Bonjour chacun, soyez bienvenus à mon blog, j'espère que vous appréciez que vous lisez parce que je toujours blog avec tout mon coeur. apprécier. Hehehe...

U must be thinking, "stupid bitch! We dun know french! That's the whole point! I wanna blog but i dun wan the whole world to know some lil details... hahaha!" For those who reallie understand french, be merciful of my french as it might sound a bit weird cuz i just put in whatever i see in the dictionary, sorry for the bad French Grammar (which i totally hate!)

Yesterday, met up with my bestie Ling, If she had told me she's going to find Ann, i wouldn't have agreed to meet her until she's done with him. hahaha, well not that i dislike ann - i felt extra. They are so lovey-dovey, my god... Screw all this newly got together couple, but i sincerely wish that they will stay this way forever, I haven't seen Ling this happy in a long long time. Thanks ah Ann, for making my dah-ling so happy! Please continue to keep her happy ya? GO DJ TAI! *bleah* We just went for dinner, had quite a scrumptious meal! I had curry chicken with noodles, ling had the same except with bread, Ann had prawn mee... And we ordered a plate of "porkless" Wu xiang! hehe... i dun understand why they hate century egg! It's damn nice mann! Try it! Oh.. I also had a Ah Ballin's peanut "tang yuan" haha... Ling had sesame paste (is that how u spell it?) as desert. After dinner, Ann went back to MoMo... Then ling n me went PS, actually wanted to catch a movie, but it was too late, i need to catch the last train home, so we ended up chilling at Cafe Cartel. She ordered this very chocolatey chocolate cake, my Goodness! i dun even dare to touch it, so i told her, "if you eat Century egg, then i'll eat this." We had a nice conversation, as usual, I'd always like chatting with her, cuz she's not afraid to speak her mind and with her, i'm not afraid to speak my mind either. We make each other a better person i guess. i Dunno if i'd made her, but she definitely changed me.

Looking back at my previous blogs, i realise how childish i was in the past, my blogs are so damn shallow and stupid! it's just me ranting about how pathetic my tiny life is! Yes... I woke up this morning, and i feel like a totally different person. I was childish, I was selfish. I just happen to saw "him" last night at PS, I din know how to act, so i just pretend i din see him at all. To u, I dunno if you guys are reading this, i just need to say, " Merci Beucoup". Without ur blog chiding me... I wouldn't realise how lousy a person i am. Yes, I am selfish, I'd played my bf like a puppet... That was part of growing up process. Ask any girl on the street, 7 out of 10 tend to stray from a relationship. I had also done things that i shouldn't have done, but u (Her-you know who u r) bitching behind my back of things that are untrue and worst still, my darkest secrets i have with u; dun you think it is ur fault? I trusted you, i told u things i'd never imagine telling anyone, but what did i get in return? I dunno... It's ok. I'm better than that.

My bday's coming! It's less than a month! No worries, i'm not gonna make you guys scrimp and save to buy me pressie, wait a minute... I just realise, i haven't got so many frens at all. No need to pity me or sympathise me cuz although i have only a few friends, the ones that i have are Gems. All i need is these few true friends... So you guys, present must be something precious like gems and ahem.. u know ah hahaha! Hiya, to make things easy, give me a BIG BIG HONG BAO!! I need loadsa money!hahaha!

I was reading that girl... Xiaxue's blog, what's the commotion about? I think she's really cool, always speaking her mind and not holding back, at least she's happy. What is life about? Being happy right? I like her carefreeness, her ability to clearly descrive how she's feeling. She's also good at photoshop! hahaha! ok... I just find her hilarious lah! Muahaha... I wouldn't mind have a fren as qwerky as her. I saw her at Wisma the other day, she's really very short. Come to think bout it, i WILL mind having a fren like her and do does she, cuz we're too "different". I think she's only standing halfway of my arm. Somewhere near my Armpit. Hahaha! Ok... it's not funny, she's not short, i'm too tall. Damnit! I wish i can be as cute as her.

Baby's going for his english test, i hope he'll pass so he wun have to take english as a subject in U. I hope after three years of speakin english with me, his command of english is better. *Shitty, my english also very the broken* All the best baby!

Jesse just "jio" me go smoke later when Mrs Chua and Angeline's gone.. haha! So happy! First time in my entire 3 months of workin, someone jio me for a fag! I must Ren till 3pm. I can't let anyone smell my ciggies rite?... Haiz, life is so damn tough here. n i feel fat, as usual. Ya, Some things just dun change. Alrite... I gotta go.

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Monday, July 18, 2005
7:53 PM

~I'm PMS-ing!~

Yes... It's the time of the month again. PMS = Pre Menstrual Symptons. One or two weeks before a girl has their menses, their body will go through what i would call, "Hormones raging". This might not apply to all girls, only 8 out of 10 women will feel this, what happen is, you will have water retention - hence, making you feel bloated and fat. When a girl feels fat and bloated, it's hell. She will repetitively ask, "Do i look fat?", "Am i fuck?" etc... We get really paranoid at this point of time, our face gets so oily and sweaty, zits and pimples keep popping out, blackheads become obvious, frankly speakin, this our ugliest time. WHo would like to look ugly? This is thus, the reason why we can flare up anytime, anywhere over anything! Like now, I'm just so god damn frustrated that i can't type faster! Guys, stop asking me to eat more chocolate, I'm fat enough!

I know some of you guys still read my blog, so... I would like to let you guys know, I wun be able to go out/hang out/clubbing or what so ever right now... and in the near future. I'm saving up for some personal stuff. Yes, I'd never been so determined in my entire life before. You guys will find out what is it in the near future. It's something I'd always wanted to do... I need alot of money. ANy donations? I need about 2K? haha... will help u dig ur ear wax for 20 bucks! Or w wiggle my fat ass for 10 mins for 30 bucks! Haha! I would also like to shout out to anyone who has part time job lobangs ok?... I need a few part time jobs! If got any offer let me know ok? I hope you guys understand... I'm not neglecting anyone, i just need this 2-3 months to do some stuffs.

I'm actually very tired. Blog later...

Chit Chat Chit Chat

Thursday, July 14, 2005
12:02 PM

~Heard Of Thursday Blues?~

I'd copied this from Jasmine's Blog which she had copied from Kailing's Blog. haha!

(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) had/have a crush on one of your "friendster" friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar - I always Throw up on Cab. haha!
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire.- just wanna know how it feels!
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone BECAUSE of "friendster"
( ) been moshing at a concert too ashamed to say which one.
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
( ) love someone right now and lovin it man.
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely all the time
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) watched the sun set
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled until i almost died
( ) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced on the mrt like every other kid.
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) walked barefoot through the mud.
(x) been lost.
(x) been to the opposite side of the country/world -i do that every-fucking-day
(x) swam in the sea
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke.
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sunset/sunrise with someone you cared about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people.
(x) gone rollerskating/blading - and i broke my left elbow...
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey - ????? What is this?
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis" in class
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
(x) got your tongue stuck to a popsicle
(x) Kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) had sex at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
(x) worn an ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong
( ) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it -- we BBQ it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly - mum made e throw away. :(
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated in a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping

I'm actually quite amused by some questions. Hahaha! So have u done what i'd done before? Or U have more? hahaha! Anyway, I'm just really bored here. Low marale, dun feel like working already, weekend coming. Geez... The office is so noisy! Argh! On some days, it's so quiet till u can hear the flies buzzing! It's already 1 plus, i haven't had my lunch. My colleage Karen always takes her time for lunch.. haiz... Not that i'm starving... Nevermind, late out for lunch, means late come back, late come back means closer to knock off time. haha! I can't wait for Saturday! So i can go MoMO with my dah-Ling... hehe... Ok lah.. I'm off for lunch!

Chit Chat Chit Chat

Wednesday, July 13, 2005
11:52 AM

~Ktv-iNg today!~

I'm so looking forward to tonight's Ktv session with my colleage! Haha... I think it will be a blast! Why is it when you are anticipating for something, time flies really slowly? Hurry up hurry up!!! Ok... I'm being so childish. (-_-)"

Anyhoos, I've been late for work for the past few days! Been wasting money on cabs for the past two days too. My handphone alarm dun work!!! I was suppose to wake up at 7:15! got "chided" by my supervisor and i'd promised her i'll get myself an alarm clock. haha! My new day Resolution, I will never be late again! I was hardly late, i'm getting lazy, I can't be lazy! I hate lazy people! My blog is so shallow, i know.

I was talking to my baby about getting a bike license, i dun wanna pretend anymore, i wanna be the real me ... I'm always tom boyish... I like being a boy, so i'm just gonna follow my heart and my of cuz, get back in to my comfort zone. Getting a bike license was also my dream since i was like a lil girl, but grandma always had told all of us, "None in our family can learn bike! It's Too dangerous!" I know my grandma had already pass away, and defying a dead person's will is being unfillial and all, but look at the world, who in the world can get a driving license with a 700 bucks pay? I know i can't, i still need to pay for my hp bills, my own expenses and my daily meals! Even if i can afford a driving lesson, can i afford a car then? *Bleah* Bike is definitely cheaper and it's faster of cuz, drivers will be damn jealous of me when there's traffic jam! Haha! My guy told me, "Ride bike cannot wear skirts oh..." Ok... i admit i can't live without my denim skirts, but says who girls can't ride bike with denim skirts, I already dun like pretty skirts, floral blouse.. sexy black lacy top... haiz.. feel so uncomfortable in them, can't i like denim skirts?! The day i cut my hair short, i know it's the day i'll become my old self again, boyish. But guys like girls with long hair... SO WHAT?! I DUN CARE! HMRPH! I like my hair short!

Well, After reading Tuesday with Morris, I'd learn to be like nothing but myself, we only live once, we can't live like another person, we have to live like ourself. Say what you mean and mean what you say, Speak your mind - tactfully, dun hold back just becuz you are afraid of what the other party will think of you cuz you might never get the chance to speak your mind again. When you know death, you will not be afraid of death, when u live each day with no regrets, U will die with no regrets as well. It's all in the mind, deep down inside us, spiritually, we want to do certain things that we are afraid to try. Instead of trying, we transform ourselves into another human being, this can easily be describe in one word - Hide. Why Hide? That is the question that I've been trying to figure our myself. I am hiding from substantial amount of fears... But at least i try to overcome by the first step that is to confront my fear. I think I'm thinking a lil too deep over here. This is me, I'm always thinking and thinking... I think i'll score pretty if i take psychology. Haha... Seriously, if you think my mind is just vacuum, think again, i know you more than u think i know. Ok? N to u, If you are ignoring me just cuz i dun have money to borrow you, you are really the lousiest person I'd ever met. *angry face*

Now i really like to use the word, "Ok" after watching a Korean drama series, "Stairways to Heaven." Haha... Choi ji woo, from Winter Sonata and Kwon sang woo from My sassy tutor are the lead. That show made me cried buckets!!! It's so touching, i mean i know it's just drama but i think in every girl, somewhere in you, although it's heart-wreckin, u wan a relationship that is unconditional and romantic. Better still, you guy is the futur heir of big hotel chains, amusement park tycoon, etc. Haha... Dream on then. God is fair in everyways.. such characters only exist in drama. It's either you're rich and ugly, or poor and good-looking. Or... u might be rich and good-lookin but die young, and worst of all, poor, ugly and live so damn blardy long ( tat's me!!!) ARGH! i'm not the ugliest girl on earth, ok? But still, everyone has the right to dream...I love dreaming that i'm tis damsel in distress, then when i am at my most desparate moment, my Prince charming, a Tall, Dark and handsome man who sharp features ( Think Jon Jonsson or Jerry Yan) comes into my rescue, he happens to be a future heir of erm... 7-11? haha... Then after he save me, he will feel that, " ok... this girl... so-so only." Then later... after a few months, he realise he has fallen head over heels for me, haha! Then, his mum disapprove of me cuz i'm not some rich man's daughter but he insist he wanna be with me... Then me, with a ego so big, i choose to leave him even tho i love him so damn much. He will say, " FINE! LEAVE ME U BITCH!!!" After a few days... he will come to me and say, "I'm sorry, i shouldn't have yelled at you, i realise i can't live without you... please dun leave me." Then me... being the soft-hearted type as well, will go... , " I love you too... i promise i wun leave you, let's stay to togeter forever." Then we are together again. But his mum can't take it, so she thinks of millions of way to mess us up... but each time, we will cry, quarrel... in the end? We will still be together... and stay happily ever after! *the end*

Happy rite?... Tat's what Korean drama will do to you! The whole point of this blog is... I'm going to take up bike lesson! No matter how painful it is... UNLESS, My mum or whoever are nice enough to pay for my driving lessons! hehehe...

Chit Chat Chit Chat

Saturday, July 09, 2005
9:25 PM

~This iS rare!!!~

Today am not feeling really good as well, but today's blog will be different, cuz It's my Darling Landy's Birthday!!! HapPy birthday To yoU! Happy Birthday To you! HappY BIrthday-Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to yOU! Hehee...

Went Bugis with Landy just now and treat her a Lunner® ((lunch/Dinner)! It wasn't anything expensive, went V8 movie cafe, their black pepper steak's tha best!!! Landy can't take beef so she had chicken chop, the mushroom sauce looks so nice! Next time must have the chicken chop! hehe... Hey hubby say have too much beef will have loads of hair... like the ang mohs. ahaha! RuBBISH!!! It was nice you know, going out with her, it's been like months since we last went out together! Missed the Sec sch days so much, we use to go home after school rightaway, then meet up again to go study at sun plaza macdonald. I was like the "cannot make it" kid, but sec 5, sat beside her, she changed me. She forced me to study. Yes... By force! Haha. I also dunno why i listen to her, probably cuz i admire her, i think i had a crush on her back then... Haha! Reallie! I even told her i like her, she kinda freaked out. Who ask her to look like Vanness from F4 last time? haha!!! So, we studied very hard, i flung my O level prelims, but with her help and my hard work, i managed to get good grades for my O levels. Haha! Even when we went different poly, we still meet up and study. Things change when she told me she's getting married... haha! But it's good, at least I got a promotion! I'm someone's god mom now! Must learn to be good god mum.

Oh... We went shopping today, ok.. I din buy anything, just bought the DOve Body firming cream shower! hahaha! Ya lor, who ask me to be a size 12. Damnit! But huh, nowadays, i buy tops size 10 can already! hahahaa! BuT I wanna be size 8!!! Need to go down two size mann... use to be size 14-16 know... so fat rite? Shud be proud of my achievements so far! haaha! Anyway, i'm drifting away from my original topic. Landy bought herself a top... haha and some body whitening cream. I just realise my blackheads are like over-taking my nose! I must KILL THEM!!! Bought some Biore Pore pack. ahahaha! I'm like so freakin out when i realise my blackheads are getting so obvious! It's working i tell u, work so much, no time to take notice of my own damn skin condition! Anyways, Landy and i talked so much, she's like so happily married with a lovely son, my goodness, happiness is really contagious, i need more happy people ard me!!! Hahaha! We talk so much it's like we haven't chatted for so long, but it's easy talking to her, she's the best person to talk to, After all these years, I still love talking to her, i share with her every detail ( ok... almost all) and landy always manage to find a way to put a smile back on my face. Oh gosh... I miss her staying just across the road! Even if it's 12 midnight, when i call, she will be there and vice versa. Haizz..

Oh... Went to a to check my eyes yesterday, Doc told me i can't wear contact lens for 2 years!!! WHat the hell right? What my cornea tore or something, i might go blind if i keep wearing my lens. Damn... Then yesterday i Hiao lor, go wear my lens, then pain again... today morning my eyes pain till cannot open man. SO i guess no clubbing for 2 damn years... I'm not lke ling, wear glasses still look so cute. hahaha!

He called me, i thought he'll never call! Just am so happy. haha! He's such a cutie know... last time work together always manage to make me smile when i'm like - Down. Never thought we will still be in contact. Haha... Today I'm happy. Haha... Tat's why my blog title said, "this is rare!" I'm rarely happy these days. My mood changes all the time, but it's like season, when it comes, it will stay for quite some time, like.... 2 - 3 weeks... then another type of mood again. Now i'm in my depress n sad mood, so it's like... rare sight that i'm happy today. It's like having a day of warm sunny day during cold cold winter. Haha! Ok lah... Gotta go already! Blog again! Think about it... Happiness... it's really contagious rite?

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Thursday, July 07, 2005
10:25 PM

~Days of our lifes~

Those days... the sun seems to shine brighter. I just a year shy from getting my diploma. I guess i'd too much fun. Life goes on rite people? Ok... I'd already told u guys that i will decided what to do with my life rite? I'd finally figure out. When he told me he's gonna go ahead and study... I was not stumped. In fact, i just have this tiny feeling in me that we r not gonna work out, 3 years of studies... it's really hard to maintain. Anyhows, I'd decided to go study abroad. There's nothing much here for me to hold on to... except my palia sisters n my family. I shud learn to let go... he deserves a better girl. Right now, I'm just gonna go with the flow, see how things goes. I'd talked with my parents, they will be getting some savings shit next year, I'm going to either Australia or Ukraine. NO kiddin.

Looking back, our poly orientation was really fun. I knew right from the start that i'm not gonna make it. I Charboh half way thru the orientation. Went to a nearby block to smoke with my new khaki - Daniel. Haha... Sounds really fun. I was like so Onz one lor... Jas's class ask me along to their class camp, I use to really detest Kailing cuz i felt that she's a damn rowdy and noisy bitch. haha! But... At the camp, i realise that she's a real sweetie, vey adventurous... and most of all, very her. Jasmine, i use to be really scared of her, din dare to talk to her, she looks so ah lian, but then again, i was so wrong. She's a very very very x 1000000 NIce girl!!! The rest... erm, dun wanna talk about it. Then after that, got close with them... went clubbing, smokin session at the bedok reservoir, we got really close, I became much more closer to a real beautiful girl, Ling. Always go clubbing with her, found out we have common interest, taste, blah blah blah. We all realli had fun. Oh.. and Cosmo, Hello kitty, Huiting, Daniel... life was incredible! I miss those days definitely. Even tho we had misunderstandings every now and then, i just want you girls to know that I'd been nothing but honest. Things that i'm unhappy about u girls, i usually tell it straight to u all, u all shud know it, esp Ling. Haha.. she kena "chided" by me dunno how many times already. Sorry ah... U also got "lecture" me before, fair square huh?

I am determine to go study overseas. BY hook or by crook. I strongly believes i need a new environment. My feelings towards my guy is just like that Jolin Tsai song, "Dao Dai".

"I had enough of waiting for the things u said u've planned

When will our so-call future be coming?

it's always at the very last minute,

you've come to realise my goods,

i need someone to lean on, you're always never there,

I shud be happy, but u gave me emptiness,

standing outside the door of bliss, but somehow i just can't step in,

The pain that is being levelled up,

It's really hard for me to take it in

I finally accept the fact, love can't return.... "

I suck at translation. I dunno will he ever be reading this, if u are, this is my public plead to you. When u say u love me, show me. When u say u need me, prove it. When you ask me not to leave, explain why. When u say u are workin towards our future, promise me. I dun wanna be hanging no where. U're really driving me crazy. I dunno if i can ever be save by anyone. I really need to breakaway from everything.

Sorry peeps, i dunno why somehow my blog will always end up like this. My heart is really breakin. I need to sleep... I'm tired.

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